i dont speak english

im listening to some super crazy classic TAI that i may or may not have downloaded illegally. i never listened to it carefully before and i think this song is about some really explicit sex acts. i dont know how i feel about that or if i feel anything at all. theres basically nothing left to do on the internet short of playing yahoo games for hours and hours and before i sink into that i want to just write some stuff down. get things out. i seem to be good at that lately. but thats a lie cuz i dont tell anyone anything at all. anyway ive been having weird dreams about friends past lately which is interesting because i thought things were ok but i guess theyre not. i hope this doesnt mean hes gunna show up at my house again because hes due. not saying i wouldnt welcome the happy surprise but its never really happy at all is it. his 3 minute visits always leave me evaluating my life under a microscope for months and months. of course he could have just left for good this time which doubt seriously. you never really leave.

anyway this isnt meant for anyone to read or understand. just things wandering around. ill bring the fire if you bring the water

i hate the heat here.